July 15, 2026

Trauma

A truth in life is that it is more important how you deal with things than what happens to you. Another way to say this is that when something bad comes your way, the important thing is how you process it.

I recently read an essay by the climber Tommy Caldwell about trauma. In 2000 he and several others were held as hostages in Kyrgyzstan. Then in 2001 he lost a finger in a table saw accident.

Now some people will talk about their PTSD and build an altar and center their world view on their traumatic experiences. This isn't to say that people don't experience terrible things, but what is important is to move forward and continue in life.

Caldwell says:

For whatever reason, I seem to process hard experiences in a way that’s … functional. Maybe even healthy. Typically, you’d hear a story (hostage in Kyrgyzstan) like mine and expect PTSD. For me, it felt like one of the most accelerated periods of growth I’ve ever experienced.
I found these statements refreshing. Clearly different people process stress differently and personally I don't want to be a "whiner", but I want to process stress in a way that makes me a better person. I think this is a choice, but we need to be trained and prepared to make the choice to deal with things in this way.

Caldwell gives credit to how his father raised him.

My dad made adventure -- something inherently uncomfortable and uncertain -- feel safe, and that became my baseline. My dad taught me that hardship wasn’t something to avoid.
Now we get into issues about how to raise kids. Protecting them is just procrastination. At some point they are going to have to face ugly things in life and teaching them to cope with problems and disappointment at an early age is really doing them a favor. This is not advocating abuse or cruelty or stupid things.
Caldwell says:
There’s a threshold where pushing your edge builds capacity, and a point where it overwhelms your system and reinforces fear instead. It’s not just about exposure. It’s about the right amount of exposure, experienced in a way that your brain can actually integrate.
Though I hardly climb at Caldwell's level, I have experienced amazing growth in my climbing experiences. Things I did in my early years that freaked me out and pushed my limits later became comfortable and entirely reasonable. Some of this was growth in physical ability, but most of it was growth in my mind and how I reacted to things. We often said that our biggest limiters were mental not physical.

I am clearly putting my own spin on some things that Caldwell had to say. but I hope I am not misrepresenting him in the process. I received his essay in an email from Patagonia and have not yet found it online where I could link to it.

Have any comments? Questions? Drop me a line!

Tom's Essays / tom@mmto.org